living a rollercoaster life

The good news: my HPAP application has been approved! I'm now officially eligible to receive a MESS of money towards a downpayment and closing costs. Additionally, they estimated the amount of house I can afford to buy, and it's more than I expected. It feels SO GOOD to have this taken care of - and to know that it's a major step that has been checked off the to-do list. I keep reading the approval letter just to make sure it is real.

The bad news: I applied for pre-approval through a bank, because you need that in hand to make an offer, and THAT estimate came back approximately $100k less than the HPAP one (and more notably, at least $15k less than any place I'd like to buy). After a bit of a freak-out on Friday when I received my pre-approval letter, I received my HPAP letter on Saturday. Needless to say, I've been pretty flummoxed all weekend.

This is the thing I've learned: trying to buy your first home is REALLY, REALLY exhausting. In the end, of course, it's totally worth it as you fall asleep for your first night in your awesome new home. But every step of the process relies on other people doing the things that you want/need them to do, and sometimes they don't happen the way you want. I put in for a pre-approval with another mortgage broker for a different type of mortgage, so I'm hopeful she comes back to me with the extra money I need to buy a place I really love. Until then...I start to think about what homeownership might feel like in 3-5 years as opposed to before the end of 2012. SIGH.